Welcome to Duke'z World

Fear and Power

2009-08-16T01:58:00.000+08:00

I fear... I fear... I am afraid... not because I am weak... I am afraid because I am powerful... powerful beyond any measure... All I ask is an opportunity for me to prove myself wrong... so I may not fear... no more.

Sino ang Dapat Sisihin?

2009-08-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

Pagkatapos lumubog ang barkong "Princess of the Stars", nagsimula na naman ang turuan at batuhan ng sisi. Sinisi ang Sulpicio Lines, sinisi ang Coast Guard, sinisi ang PAGASA, Sinisi ang Port Officers, sinisi si Frank, at sa huli, Sinisi ang nawawalang kapitan ng barko dahil alam nilang hindi na ito makakapagbato pabalik ng sisi. Sisi ng sisi, sisi ng sisi, puro sila sisi... Kaawa-awa naman ang naiwang pamilya ng kapitan. Nawalan na nga ng mahal sa buhay, kailangan pa nilang magdusa sa kaalamang ang kanilang mahal sa buhay ang sinisisi sa pagkamatay nya at ng marami pang iba. Ngunit, sino nga ba ang dapat sisihin?
Kung ako ang tatanungin, hindi dapat magsimula at magtapos sa pagtuturuan at pagbatuhan ng sisi ang mga talakayan pagkatapos ng trahedya. Dapat ay magsimula ito sa pagaanalisa kung ano talaga ang bawat kisap ng mga kaganapan, at magtapos sa resolusyon at lunas para hindi na ulit ito mangyari. Hindi dapat napupunta ang sisi sa mga tao, kundi sa sistema. Hindi dapat pinapaubaya ang mga decision making sa mga maliliit na tao. Dapat ay magkaroon nang sistema na magbabawal sa paglaot nga mga barko kapag may bagyo. Hindi dapat nilalagay ang decision making sa kapitan o sa mga coast guards kung naaayon pa ang panahon para ang isang barko ay magpalaot o hindi. Kaya nga bumubuo ng sistema, para mabawasan ang human factor sa mga decision makings. Sa dinami dami na ng lumubog na barko, hindi man lamang ba sila matututo o gagawa ng hakbang bukod sa mangsisi para sa kapakanan ng mga susunod na mga lalakbay?
Pagkatapos ng isa o dalawang linggo, makakalimutan nanaman ang trahedyang ito. Hindi na muling maaalala hanggang sa magkaroon na naman ng panibagong trahedya. Masasayang lang ang pagkamatay ng daan-daang tao dahil wala pa ring hakbang sa pagbabago.
P.S.
Huwag basahin at bigkasin ng pabulol.

Politics 101

2009-08-16T01:53:00.001+08:00

Kelangan natin ng sistema na kung saan ay hindi na makakapangurakot at makakapanakot ang isang opisyal. Kelangan natin ng pang counterbalance sa kapangyarihan na kanilang pinanghahawakan. At paano natin magagawa iyon? Ang mga sumusunod na sistema ay mga naisip ko na sa tingin ko ay makakatulong sa pagcounterbalance ng kapangyarihan.
- Dapat ay maging transparent ang lahat ng galaw ng bawat politiko. Kung merong mga biniling materyales o construction vehicles, lahat ng resibo ay documented. Lahat ng gastusin ay dapat nakabreakdown. Lahat ng dokumento ay dapat accessible sa lahat ng may gustong tumingin dito, mayaman, mahirap, kapartido man o katunggali, kapamilya man o kapuso.
- Dapat ay malimitahan ang military/police protection ng isang politiko. Sino ba naman ang maninita sa isang politiko kung ang politiko ay may dalawang dosenang bodyguards (goons)?
May naalala akong kwento sa bandang ilocos (ndi ko na sasabihin kung anong municipality), may isang gustong maging politiko na gustong lumaban sa pagkamayor sa isang higanteng political dynasty dahil gusto nya ng pagbabago. Ang nangyari, dinaya ang politiko. Bukod sa natalo na ang politiko, pinatay pa. Sino ang may maglalakas loob muli na lumaban sa dynasty na ito?
- Dapat ay magkaroon tayo ng sistema na hindi dadaan ang pera sa politiko. (Hwaw, pano un?) Magkakaroon ng Agency na hahawak sa pondo ng politiko. Kung kelangan ng isang politiko ng panggawa ng proyekto, katulad ng tulay, ang Agency na ito ang bibili ng materyales, magpoprovide at magpapasweldo sa mga tauhan. Pwedeng magsuggest ang isang politiko kung saan o kanino bibilhin ang materyales basta mas mababa ang presyo neto kaysa sa pinagbibilhan ng Agency. Kung kelangan ng isang politiko ng military escorts (o escort service), Agency din ang cocontact sa military para kumuha ng tauhan. Kung walang gagawin ang politikong eto, hindi masasayang ang pondo dahil wala sa kamay ng politiko ang pera.
Pasensya na. Ako ay isang Idealist at hindi realist.

Letting Go of Chapter Friends

2009-08-16T01:51:00.001+08:00

In every chapter of the book called life, we go to new places, learn new stuff, aim for new goals, even meet new acquaintances. Some of these acquaintances could become new found friends. Friends are there to help you through a particular chapter. They could help you in different ways. Some help you directly when you are in need of help. Some gives ideas on how to pass through a particular task. Some are there to teach you lessons (even if it is painful). And some are there just to give you company, share life stories, listen to your stories, share with the laughter, or share with your pains.
But immediately after a chapter, many of these friends dissapear. But those who do not dissapear, I call them "lifetime friends". they stay connected to you even if you met them a couple of chapters ago. May be you don't see them for a while, but once you get a chance, you connect to them again or they connect to you again and treat them like the connection has never been broken.
Those who do disappear, I call these friends "chapter friends". After you move on to a new chapter, you don't see these friends again. Maybe for a while. Maybe forever. When you cross paths with them again in another chapter, the connection is not entirely the same. You smile to them, say "how do you do?" half heartedly and then walk away.
Every time I close a chapter, I feel sad for losing my chapter friends. Friends I lost after grade school, high school and college. Friends from my previous work, previous projects, clubs and organizations. Right now I have just finished my "Malaysia chapter". I already missed them. Some of those connections, I tried to rekindle. But a couple connections already ended in disappointing manner. Maybe I was trying too much or hoping that much that the connections we had would not change. I think I should just accept the fact that they are indeed chapter friends and they would want to go on with their lives, marking me as their chapter friends. They are appreciative that they had been my friend for a chapter but would appreciate more if I don't bother them on future chapters.
Right now, I am sad for my previous chapter friends, knowing that I might never see them again. Yet I should be excited that a new chapter is coming and I would meet other chapter friends and life time friends.

Shorty 05

2006-07-05T13:37:00.000+08:00

I didn't mean to rule the world...
I only intend to rule your heart

Shorty 04

2006-03-10T20:35:00.000+08:00

How can I win the battle if the one that I am fighting for is also the one that I am fighting against???

Shorty 03

2006-03-10T20:30:00.000+08:00

How can I break the paramount iceberg between us if you yourself are the one who is pouring water to reinforce it???

All I want for Christmas

2005-11-15T09:52:00.000+08:00

The only gift I ask of you this Christmas
is your big, golden, precious heart
wrapped in your sweet warm embrace
and sealed with your enchanting kiss

fearless

2005-11-14T21:04:00.000+08:00

I do not fear death if my death would finally bring peace to the world. I do not fear death if it would save the lives and the souls of the persons I had touched. I do not fear death if it would solve world wide hunger. I will not fear death if you will be there beside me, holding my hand 'til the end. The only thing I fear is living the rest of my life without you at my side.

Larawan

2005-10-24T21:06:00.000+08:00

Every night, I look at your friendster pictures before going home from the office, so that I could picture you perfectly when I imagine you sitting beside me at the car, conversing on different matters under the moon. Every night, I look at your pictures that I gathered at my PC before going to bed, hoping that you would visit me in my dreams. Even though I had completely memorized your face, even though I had looked at your pictures a million times, I can't get tired of looking at your pictures. I can't get tired of looking at your beautiful face. I can't get tired of looking at your pretty eyes. Hypnotized by your beauty, I can't turn my eyes away from your picture. Before I close my eyes tonight, the last thing that I would want to see is your enchanting beauty. Before I lost my thought from slumber, I pray to God for a miracle, hoping that when I wake up, you would be right there beside me...
... see you again tomorrow night.

Shorty 02

2005-09-19T19:16:00.000+08:00

Why did you lock the door to my heart, leave me behind, and bring the key with you without even realizing it?

Shorty 01

2005-09-19T19:09:00.000+08:00

How would I know that I have fallen for you? Is it enough that I think of you every single day even if I hadn't seen you for years?

Paano ko ba masasabi na minamahal na pala kita? Sapat na ba ang isipin ka sa bawat araw na lumipas, kahit tayo'y hindi nagkita nang iilang taon?

Noticed something?

2005-09-04T19:39:00.000+08:00

Noticed that my blog is looking more like a blog recently? "Where's the nice commentaries and editorials? Where's the poetry?" I don't know. I suddenly lost my appetite for writing editorials. I think I also lost my inspirations. I'm tired of writing editorials. Just look at our country, Still the same. The government is still disgusting, I could vomit. Our environment is still getting worse. I'm already sick and tired. I feel defeated. I feel lost. I feel beaten. I can't wait to migrate to another country...

A new look

2005-09-04T19:26:00.000+08:00

Notice that my blog has changed? I can't help it. An accident happened. I was updating my template and was in the process of saving it when my computer hanged. Next thing I know is that half of the template script was lost. It would be harder for me to repair the template rather than to change the template altogether. I thought that it's time to change my blog anyway. It has been a year already (wow!) that I was using that template. Too many people has the same template as my previous blog has. I like the looks of my new blog. Yet, somehow I think that the changes was a disprovement more than an improvement. Since I changed my template, no one has added a comment on my recent blogs. no one has left a message in my chatter box (including me). I wonder why is that? I wonder...

I'm no Superman

2005-08-29T21:35:00.000+08:00

I admit, I am not handsome, I am not macho, I am not tall, I am not smart, and I am not sin free. In short, I am not perfect. I never really am. I tried so hard in the past not to be human, Not to indulge to my urges, lust, desires, and try not to commit mistakes, But it's so hard. I don't usually take risks without calculation. I tried so hard to be the best at what I do, any subject, any sports, every video games I play (even tetris attack or minesweeper). But it seems that there's always someone else that is better than me. I now officially accept that I am not perfect. I can't do anything at one time. I'm no superman. I don't care anymore if someone else is better than me. I don't care if I let down someone who is depending in me. I can't please everyone. I don't care if this blog is not spelling checked or gramatically correct, or even logically coherent. I won't try to be the best anymore. I think it's better just to try to be good.

- "Its better to have mistakes than to have regrets".

Do not disturb

2005-08-27T16:53:00.000+08:00

I't seems that my power to write poems has left me temporarily. My skill of making rhymes is gone. The pressure of work is building up on me. It's now saturday and I'm still at the office. I am currently working on a module that should have been finished last thursday, Yet I'm only 2/3 complete. My team lead is getting anxious, asking me everyday when will my work be finished. I'm too tired, my mind is swirling. 4 days have passed since my mobile phone is dead. the battery is already drained. Yet I don't care anymore. It's better that way so that no one can anymore bother me. my work is piling up, I can't imagine what would happen next. I'm getting behind schedule every minute that I relax. Even wee-wee break should be minimal...

A Magical Blog

2005-08-11T13:10:00.000+08:00

Date MM/DD/CCYY

Today, I realized that I'm sick and tired of waking up

early morning, eat breakfast and take a shower hurriedly,

leave home to face traffic, work till my eyes dry up, come

home late at night (or early morning), and waste my time

doing nothing till i fall asleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Above is a magical blog. It shows my everyday blog
account since the start of my working days (except
weekends and holidays). Just change the date to your
desired date and see the magic transpire.

Enjoy!

Ready or Not

2005-07-27T15:55:00.000+08:00

It's been half a decade
since we... yet I feel that I am
not yet ready... ready for
another... I always convince
myself that I'm just busy...
busy at the moment... When
will I be ready? Will I ever be
ready again? Is there a
formula to this problem?
Maybe I need someone else...
someone to forget you...
May be I need more time...
Maybe I should take a risk
and leap... leap even if the
wounds are not yet healed...
Maybe, the wounds are
already healed... I'm just
afraid to acquire another
wound... Afraid that the
next wound could be fatal...
The wounds are healed yet
the pain still lingers... Pain
being savored slowly
through loneliness... Busying
myself to take my mind out
of the pain... through
sports, work, thinking,
reading, writing... Learning
to hide the loneliness under
insincere smiles... Learning
to cope with loneliness by
messing with my mind...
Creating imaginary friends...
Multiple personalities...
Imagining role playing...
Role playing of suicide... My
suicide... All this thoughts,
are hidden... Whenever I
met a new... I immediately
compare her to you... Still
imprisoned in your charms...
Etched in my mind... The
secrets that we keep... The
happy memories we
shared... And the tears that
fell... when you passed away.

Longest Running Soap Opera in the Philippines

2005-07-26T16:17:00.000+08:00

Many people are enthusiastic of watching the news, reading the newspaper, and listening to AM radio stations just to find out what's the latest story in the reality soap opera entitled "The Philippine Government". The soap opera is not only the longest running show in the Philippines but also the all time top rated show of the country. What is more remarkable with this soap opera is, not only it is not just being shown in one single local TV or radio station, but also each station has their own version and own point of view of the whole story. This soap opera contains more drama, action, comedy and horror than the Filipino, American, Indian and Mexican Showbiz, TV and Movie Industry and the World Wrestling Entertainment combined. The story revolves around friendships, betrayal, stealthy and skillfull theft, control of power, mass coercion and brainwash, henious crimes, death and renewed friendships, through engineously and outrageously created story lines. The story lines are so perfectly made that when it seems that a problem would be solved, a new imaginative plot would then arise as if on queue. The transition from one controversy to another is so well planned and so smooth, that local news stations aren't having any problems for thinking of an alternative news should a miraculous day where everything's doing fine in the government arises. Truly, the story lines are of high caliber, a Stephen Spieldberg director would envy for it. Not only do the story lines are deserving of good praises from critics, but also the actors playing the parts are doing a superb job. The way they move, the way they act, even the way they speak in front of the camera are very much convincing. The actors does not only consists of the elected public officials, but also the political leaders of various political groups and the religious leaders of various religions. Some of the actors even conduct fans day themselves, where they appear and talk personally in front of thier fans. Through there, the audience could see their idols live and in action. Their fans call this performance "rally", and they call themselves, "rallyist". Rallyists easily outnumbers the audience of other sensational famous rock bands, singers, and other soap opera actors from other countries like "F4". These actors are very skilled and talented in acting that if they auditioned for star circle search, they could easily have won. The success of the soap opera is so eminent that other successful and famous personalities from various fields like movie and TV industry, sports, music and radio commentaries are still would like to audition just to be recognized that they have been a part of this so called soap opera.

Maligayang Paglaya (also a tribute to ADU815-03)

2005-07-14T12:37:00.000+08:00

Freedom at last! Congrats sa mga kabatch ko for finally being free of the bond. Miss you na guys! It's been 2 years since we first joined Accenture. I could clearly remember my first day here. July 14, 2003, 5:00 am, I woke up and went directly to my computer to check my ambar account (www.darklights.com). someone has PM'd me on my YM saying she wanted me to be her friend. After a few minutes of chatting with her, she started messaging me dirty stuffs. I was shocked. I imediately blocked her in my YM and continue surfing the net. At around 6:30 am, I was heading to the office along molave ave, when a speeding scooter with a rider only wearing shorts and no protective gear, passed me. As I arrived near the St. Scho gate a minute later, a group of people were gathered watching the lifeless body of the poor rider over a pool of blood. his scooter was 10 meters away from him. A tricycle driver was in tears as he tried to tell his story to a policeman on sight what happened. So much for my first day. The rest of the day seemed ok except that I arrived 30 minutes late for the NJO (new joiner's orientation). I also remember Cecil as one of my seatmate during NJO.

Guys, ulitin naman natin ang Antipolo! Kahit hindi na dun. I remember the "ala fear factor" scab hunt we did where my team won (sori di ko na maalala kung sino mga kateam ko)! I also remember when Weng and I had to eat a whole banana without hands (I think our upper lips touched a bit but di namin inamin back then. Sori sa nangyari Weng). Who could forget the card game we used to play and the surprising "IKAW!!!" expression of Jeff (Good luck sa next chapter mo! Kung maulit ung antipolo, di ka na namin paiinumin ulit!=)). Who could also forget (I hope I did) the itsy bitsy tinnie winnie trunks ni Vincent? konting muscle na lang, pwede na syang mag audition sa bay watch! Speaking of bay, who could also forget our Vegitarian Bei? Ang pinakamaingay sa group (next to Jen-jen). Sori sa mga di ko pa nababanggit. Too many good memories to tell, too little space. May isa pa kong secret na ibubunyag. Habang nagdadrive ako pauwi from antipolo, a tear excaped my eye. I realized that that was the last day na lahat tayo ay muling magkakasamasama =.(. I hope I was wrong. I also hope that you could prove me wrong.

Keshurah ng Ishang Lasheng

2005-06-20T21:35:00.000+08:00

Habang nababalot sha dilim ng gabi
Ako'y gumagapang habang papauwi
Nalalashahan pa ang shuka sha labi
Laman ng ishipan ako'y naiihi

Pilit nilalabash ng akhing katawan
Halo-halong shankap ng gin at pulutan
Di' na nakayanan ito'y mapigilan
Ang yumukho shaka shumukha sha daan

Sha bawat paggalaw, umiikot ang mundoh
Hindi na matangal, ang shakit ng uloh
Ang akhing paningin, lalong lumalabo
Uy, teka, shandale, ashan na ba akoh?

Walang pakialam, sha ayosh ng buhok
Pantal ang inabot, sha piyeshtah ng lamok
Hinde na matiish, ang shakit ng batok
Hihiga kung shaan, abutan ng antok

Kaibigan O Ka-ibigan

2005-04-30T14:48:00.000+08:00

Kung ipagtapat kong, iniibig kita
Mabibigla ka ba? Iiwas ka kaya?

Hindi ko masabi, tunay na hangarin
At baka mag-iba, tingin mo sa akin
Mga pangarap sa hinaharap natin
Malusaw ng kusa't, liparin ng hangin

Ilang libong beses, na aking tinangka
Ika'y kalimutan, humanap ng iba
Subalit ito ay hindi ko magawa
Ikaw ang sigaw ng pusong lumuluha

Sa iyong isasagot, puso'y nagaabang
Kahit ano'ng sagot, basta't malaman lang
Nagmamakaawa, h'wag lang ang salitang
"Tayo'y magkaibigan... Hanggang doon lamang"

Am I Asking Too Many Questions?

2005-02-24T16:41:00.000+08:00

Why am I living? Out of the hundred thousand years man has walked the earth, why am I walking here in the present? What is the purpose of my life? What would happen when I die? Where would I go when I die? Is the Universe infinite? Are there other Universe besides ours? What happened before the big bang? Is our Universe going to end? Why is there a gravity? Who wrote the rules of the universe? Are there other life forms outside earth? Is life on earth only an accident? Are we alone in the universe? what would happen to life itself if the earth is destroyed? How many years does the earth have left? would the human beings outlive the cocroaches? Will the human beings evolve into another species a million years from now (smaller jaws than before and larger brains)? Is world peace just a myth or a legend we just didn't realized yet? With the thousands of religions existing, who among them are correct? Or are any of them correct? Is there a God? Is there evil? What is God's relationship with the supreme devil? Is God and the devil same person? Are there many gods? even though God doesn't need us, Why did God created us? Is God bounded by time? Is time really exist or just a creation of the imagination of man? Is time travel really possible? What will happen if we went in to the black hole? will we die or travel in time? If we die, would can our spirit escape the black hole? Do we really have a spirit? What is spirit composed of? Does every animal have a spirit? do bacteria and viruses have spirits? do plants have spirits? Is reincarnation true? do our spirit transfer to another being when we die? Does our spirits carry our values, attitude and memories?

Untitled

2005-02-06T16:34:00.000+08:00

Ayon nga sa CMM (Capability Maturity Model), kapag may defect, lumagpas sa schedule, o kinulang sa budget, di mo dapat sisihin ang taong gumawa. Kahit ang taong iyon ay laging late pumasok, maaga umuwi, nagiinternet lang sa trabaho, at hindi seryoso, hindi mo pa rin dapat sisihin ang taong iyon. Ang dapat na sinisisi ay ang proseso o ang sistema. Kung may dapat baguhin o pagtuunan ng pansin, ang sistema lagi ang may pagkukulang.

Ganun din siguro sa korapsyon. Hindi natin dapat sinisisi ang mga opisyal ng gobyerno sa kanilang pangungurakot. Kahit ilang gramo na ng droga ang kanilang naipuslit papunta sa Pilipinas at naibenta sa mga kabataan, kahit na pumatay sila ng mga inosenteng tao para bumango ang kanilang nabubulok na reputasyon, kahit na ilang milyon na ang kanilang nakuha sa pondo ng gobyerno. Pondo na sapilitang binabayaran ng ating mga naghihikahos at nagugutom na kababayan. Pondo na ginagamit ng ating mga opisyal para sa kanilang pagpapataba, paglalasing, pagbili ng kanilang magagarang sasakyan, pagshoshoping sa iba't-ibang bansa, pagpapasweldo sa kanikanilang mga gwardya(army) at armas, pagbili, sa katawan, pagpapaaral at pagpapabahay ng mga naggagandahang artistang prostitute.

Ilang taon na rin ba ang ating gobyerno? Kung ikukumpara mo sa buhay ng isang tao, matanda na rin ang ating gobyerno. Ilang beses na ring nagpalit-palit ang mga nakaupo sa pwesto. Ilang daang beses na rin tayong nagpaloko sa mga taong iniupo natin sa pwesto na sila raw ang bagong "messiah" na magbabangon sa atin sa kahirapan. Kahit sino pa man ang ating iupo sa pwesto, hindi parin nagbabago ang nangyayari sa ating gobyerno. Kung titignan natin ang nakaraan, ganyang ganyan din ang nangyari sa panahon ng hapon, panahon ng kastila, kahit sa panahon ng mga romano, kung saan ang mga "tax collector" sa panahon ni Jesus ay marunong nang mangurakot.

Ang gobyerno ay parang isang dula. Pinapalitan lang natin ang mga tauhan at lugar ng pinagdarausan ng istorya pero ganoon pa rin ang istorya. Hindi na nagbabago. Kinakatakot ko lang na baka ang hinaharap natin ay hindi na rin magbago. Kahit na dumating ang araw na patay na tayong lahat, patay na rin ang mga walang hiyang mga kurakot na yan, mapalitan na ng ating mga kaapuapuhan ang nabubuhay sa ibabaw ng mundo, ganoon pa rin ang kalabasan na istorya.

Parnasong Naghihingalo (Dying Poetry)

2005-01-26T15:43:00.000+08:00

Where are the modern "Balagtas", "Shakespheare", and "Rizal"? As our society mature, shouldn't we have great poets and harmoneous poetry right about now? Don't tell me that best poets we could ever come up with in this generation are Andrew E., Snoop Doggy Dog and the Salbakuta. I would be ashamed living in our generation right now. What if the future generation would look back in our generation? I would be more grateful if our part of "history of writing" would burn to ashes or washed away by floods. In this way, the future generation would wonder what they might have missed than if they know that if this generation have not existed, they wouldn't really miss a thing at all.

One time, out of curiosity, I searched yahoo groups to see if there are poetry groups, Filipino poetry groups in particular. I saw two promising Filipino groups. The first one(I already forgot the name of the group) the group is already inactive for around months now (if not years) I searched the trails of emails they have left behind. If not emails containing viruses, the emails only include advertisements. The second group is named AwitKayumanggi. I joined in search of good Filipino poetry. I was discouraged that the group of Pilipino using the group is onto Haikus, seldom of them are tagalog, Most of them are in English.

I bet TV is one of the reasons why no one cares of poetry anymore. I could imagine, 50 to 100 years ago, adults would be coming home from work. Without TV, what could have been their pass time? Besides sex, I bet they would read novels, newspapers, and poetry. I bet they would also read stories to their children. And if there are no things left to read, I bet they would write stories or create poems themselves. Even the youth, I bet young men would compete for poetry writing contests and would court girls using poetry.

In the present however, adults would be coming home from work tired and sleepy. they would destress themselves by clicking on the remote, looking for the best show until they fall asleep (I would tell my sentiments about TV later in another blog). In short, we don't have time anymore to read and write for ourselves ("We don't give time" would be the better statement).

Poetry is dying by the day (I bet you're saying "so what?"). Well, I care. I just don't want to be a part of the generation that killed poetry. I'll continue to write my poetry even if no one anymore cares.

Greetings

2005-01-01T15:17:00.000+08:00

Since I don't have time to write this holiday vacation, just want to greet all "Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!"

A Tribute to EDGARDO TABONES Jr.

2004-12-22T19:53:00.000+08:00

Yes, he is a real person and yes, he is not a make believe character made from my mind. Who is he? Well, he was a classmate of mine back in first year high school. Many or most of my batchmates in Marist might have already forgotten him. Even I, one of his close friends, before he left Marist, admit that there have been months or even years since I have last thought of him. This blog is dedicated in memory of him.

To give a brief background about him, based on my memory, the earliest I can remember of him was the accident (incident) that happened to him when we are in grade 5. He fell a flight of stairs and landed face first. I forgot if someone had pushed him and who. Anyway, I wasn't able to see the incident. When I arrived at the area, I found out that he was already sent (carried) to the clinic. The only mark recognizable is the pool of red blood on the floor. Later, we learned that he had lost most of his upper front permanent teeth. The only teeth left was his canine teeth.
In first year highschool, I was fortunate to be of close friend to him. He might be the laughing stock of our class, but he didn't care. He even made his misfortune to his side to make friends. Since he is lacking teeths, he would like to imitate Rene Requiestas; his laugh, his expressions, everything. Even though I pity him, he does not fail to make me smile. I'm not sure if he pretends to be slow, or he is really slow. Regarding academics, he was slow enough. He was kicked out of Marist due to his poor grades. Rumors has it that he transferred to Roosevelt College. Since then, I never heard of him.

One morning, during breakfast, out of the blue, I remembered him. Not sure why I come across of thinking of him, but later that day, I would find out. I wonder "musta na kya si Tabones?". Later that morning, during assembly time, our principal announced that a former Marist student passed away. His name was Edgardo Tabones Jr. I wonder if thinking of him earlier that moring was because he was making me feel of his presence or just a very unlikely coincidence.

I am now writing this because, after years of not thinking of him, my mind wondered far again and remembered him. Was I feeling his presence again? I write this so no one would forget him.

"Wishing you happiness in the presence of our Lord"

Buena Mano

2004-12-21T18:30:00.000+08:00

"Death is a part of life. It is inevitable. All good things must come to an end"

Everytime I encounter a group or become a part of a group, I have this wierd thinking that would maybe freak others out. Since I was in Highschool, I would always think, "sino kaya ang buena mano sa amin?". Out of 214 that graduated in my batch in highschool, who would be the first one to bite the dust? (Well, I already got the answer, already two of us have died since graduation). Who among my group of friends in HighSchool would die first? Who in our batch in Comp Sci would be first to die? Who in the original S15 section would die first? Who in CS-ST would die first? Who among our team at work (Apollo & Metavante) would die first? Who among in my interact club would die first? Who among in my rotaract club would die first? Who among on my Leo Club would die first? Who among my fellow ADU would die first? Who among in my Toast masters club would die first? Who among my parents would die first? who among my grandparents would die first? Who among my cousins would die first? would I outlive my brother or would he outlive me?

Statistics shows that 65 is the average age of a human person. That means that 42 years from now (year 2046 - 2047), half of my fellow highschool mates would be dead. Maybe we cannot feel death approaching us from my (our) age but I bet the you would feel the same way when we are around 10 to 15 years from our death year, when the number of our batchmates dying would grow bigger and bigger (2031-2036).

Thoughts of death could be scary. Death has long lingered in my thoughts since I was in elementary. Maybe this is just a way for me to overcome my fear of death. Who knows what lies beyond death. No one has ever come back from the dead which could tell us what lies beyond (do not mention bullshits that others have experienced life after death. I just don't believe them. It's just the reaction of the brain when it experiences lack of oxygen.)

I long wondered how would I die. If I would die (of course I would, co'z I'm alive) I think that if not of a heart attack, I would die of brain cancer. Heart attack, if I do not change my way of eating and living. And brain cancer, because of staring hours upon hours on my computer everyday of my life (if not watching TV). Unless I die of an accident, I bet these two would be the most lucky candidate. Of course, this is not what I wish to die. If I would be given to chose the way that I die, I would prefer falling (or rather jumping) out of an airborne airplane and falling to solid concrete head first. I always wonder if it would hurt. I remember my teacher in highschool saying that when people die, a second before death, the soul would leave the body so that he/she would not feel the pain. "God loves us that much that he would send his angels to fetch our spirit a moment before death." I wanted to prove her wrong. And one way to find out is to put my experiment to action. Too bad I cannot tell you guys, if I ever had a chance to die the way I wanted to die, if it would hurt or not.

Please, don't be so depressed by my thoughts. For all you know, maybe, you too might be the next to be the lucky "Buena Mano".

Mary Gina I. (Maria Giny)

2004-11-23T14:06:00.000+08:00

Through my loneliest of times, I might have not became sane again if it wasn't for my special friend being there for me. She would always give sense to all of the things I do not, cannot, or would not understand. She is always there to listen when I have something to say. All my deepest, darkest secrets that I cannot imagine saying to another living person, I was able to say it to her in full detail, knowing that my secrets would be safe in her heart.

I am ashamed to admit that she knows me a lot better than I know myself. She gives great unbias advices to difficult situations that I encounter. She provides me with new perspective, telling me if my desisions are being unfair or hurtful to other people, that normally I wouldn't even notice. She becomes the other side of the coin that I usually couldn't see.

She's one of the closest girl I ever met. I enjoy, when we intelligently argue over controversial things. She enjoy as much as I do conspiracy theories. I enjoy hearing her wierd ideas. I simpy enjoy talking to her, giving me new thoughts to ponder, giving me love advices, and our "kulitans" and "asarans". Simply saying, I enjoy her company.

I may find another girl, date another girl, even love another girl, but that girl should accept that I cannot live without my special friend, and that my special friend would always be a part of my life.

She is the better half of my life.

Mamimiss ko ang lugar na to'

2004-11-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

O kay ganda ng bati ng ating kalikasan
O kay init ng yakap ni datu amihan
masiglang kumakaway ang mga puno't kawayan,
pinagmamalaki, kanilang mga dahong ginintuang luntian

namumula ang pisngi ni haring araw
habang siya'y naghahandang lisanin ang ibabaw
kahit na siya'y tila hindi gumagalaw,
kanyang imahen sa tubig, walang awat sa pagsayaw

kahit mataas ng aking kinatutungtungan
paghampas ng alon ay naririnig sa isipan
sa mga higanteng bato na tila nagliliitan
tahimik na nakakumpol sa dalampasigan

di na nagpapaawat ang langit sa pagdilim,
unti-unti nang nagsisilabasan ang mga bituwin,
nagsisimula nang lumamig ang ihip ng hangin,
panahon na para sakin ang lumundag sa bangin

sa aking pagtalon, isip ay tila lumilipad
kahit bawiin ang desisyon, kahit aking ihangad
na ibalik ang sitwasyong, di pa lumulundag
walang makakapigil sa kapalarang sasapitin ng aking palad

palapit na ng palapit ang mga batong matutulis,
nalalanghap ko na ang alat ng along mababangis,
oras ko sa daigdig, ay panipis ng panipis,
hinahanda na ang sarili sa huling paglilitis

Alkansyang Kawayan

2004-11-02T18:57:00.000+08:00

Aking kayamanan
Pinakaiingatan
Ang alkansyang kawayan

Matigas at mahaba
Sa dulo ay may hiwa
Ang nasabing alkansya

Ang kanyang nilalaman
Ay ang pinag-ipunan
Dulot ay kasiyahan

Walang mata, ni isa
Maaring makakita
Sa kinalalagyan nya

Sikretong nililihim
Dadalhin hanggang libing
Mamilit, papatayin

Lihim na tinatago
Iaalay nang buo
Sa magiging kapuso...

(to be continued)

OBSESSED

2004-10-26T21:20:00.000+08:00

by: Duke Xander

Mula sa sandaling ikaw ay masilayan
Di na kita maalis sa aking isipan

Kahit saan lumingon ang aking mga mata,
Iyong kagandahan ang laging nakikita,
Sa bawat pagkakataong walang ginagawa,
Ikaw ang pumapasok sa aking gunita

Iyong alaala ang sa aki'y nagpapangiti
Ikaw ang kasamang kumakain sa bawat tanghali
Ikaw ang hanging kausap ko habang papauwi
Ikaw ang malambing na unang kayakap at katabi

Bawat linggo, ating pagkikita ang hinihintay
Kahit makita kang masaya sa kanyang mga kamay
Kasama ang alikabok at mga dahong nakikiramay,
Ako'y naririto't habang buhay na maghihintay

Sa tuwing pagkakataong tayo'y nagkakabati
Sa bawa't pagkakataong tayo'y magkakatabi
Hiling ko sa itaas, tumigil sana ang sandali
Mapatagal lang ang pagtitig ko sa iyong mga labi,

Maaninag lang ang mga mata mong marikit
Makita ko lamang ang iyong mga ngiti,
Aking lungkot ay kaagad na napapawi
Kahit na ang ngiting iyo'y hindi para sakin

Sana'y pinagtapat na ang tunay kong damdamin
Sana'y di nag antay na ako'y iyong mapansin
Sana'y di na ako naghintay at humiling
Sa perpektong pagkakataong di dumating

Sa bawat paalam na iyong ibinigay,
Tinatago ko sa ngiti, ang lungkot na taglay
Sa bawa't saglit na tayo'y nawawalay
Ako'y nanghihina't unti-unting namamatay

Isang pangitain ang hindi ko maharap
Dinarama kong t'wina, na ang aking hanap-hanap
Ang madama ang iyong mainit na yakap
Ay isa lamang walang hanggang pangarap

What Garbage?

2004-10-06T22:19:00.000+08:00

One of the main problems of our country is garbage management. I heard once in an AM radio station (when I was still little) a group of people discussing on how to solve our problem on looking for a location on where we could pile our garbage since other dump sites are getting filled up. A lady from the group suggested to put train tracks going to a volcano and dump our garbage inside the mouth of the volcano. And then I started laughing my ass off. I can't stop thinking how could these experts became experts in the first place? They're so good in making such hilarious suggestion. They think so narrowly. They just think of a short term solution to a forever-like problem. What if the volcano is already filled up with garbage, are we just look for another volcano to fill up? and just imagine, what if the volcano exploded? I just can't imagine what disaster would that do to the nearby village (the magma would not just kill because of its hottness but will also kill with it's odor).If I were the president of our country, I would implement the zero waste management (I heard of it somewhere when I was still in highschool. To whoever first thought of the name, I hope that you don't mind of me using it.). This is an idea that all of our garbage could be recycled or reduced to nearly zero. This might seem impossible but I think that it could be implemented with just a little help from all of us.
Now, how does this work? This idea revolves entirely of the word segregation. This is not just segregating the biodegradable from the non-biodegradable. This includes segregating plastic from paper, from glass, from metal alloys, from rubber, etc... Let's say for example, 30% of our garbage is biodegradable and 70% is non biodegradable, with the biodegradable waste alone, we could process it to turn it into fertilizers for selling cheaply to our farmers. We could also sell it to big companies or even to our neighboring countries. The income that we would acquire can be used in processing our biodegradable waste.

30% down, 70% to go. Let's say that out of 70%, 40% comes from materials that can be processed so it can be used again. For example, metal alloys, clothing, wood, paper, rubber, glass, etc... We could build a warehouse,(factory, processing plant) wherein all the workers would do is organize and segregate the waste for each items. And then each kind of garbage would be brought to each porcessing plants for processing. Example, all the metal alloys will be sent to a metal processing plant wherein metals could be segregated and be melted to bars and could be sold to other companies that would require such raw material. Same with glass, paper, etc... recycled papers could be used in making newspapers and books. Glass may melted and processed to become bottles and containers. Rubber, hmm... I'm not sure, maybe we could recycle it to create rubber sandals, rubber bands, rubber shoes, etc... (or condoms)

70% down, 30% to go. Let's say that 28% is composed of materials that cannot be reused or recycled, like plastics and styros? Well, we could reduce the use of this materials. If I'm the president of the Philippines, I will limit companies from making new plastic containers in their products and instead encourage them in using glass containers or steel containers instead. plastic cups and cups made of styro will be banned and instead will use paper cups instead. styro's used in fast foods and restaurants will be replaced with cardboard containers. Even plastic spoons and forks will be replaced by steel utensils, or chopsticks or hands (kamay na lang ulit ang gamitin natin. mapapasarap pa ang pagkain natin, hehe..)

98% down, 2% to go. I admit that not all wastes could be reused, recycled, or reduced, like factory wastes, chemicals used in hospitals. We should find a way to somehow dispose of these chemicals as to not harm our environment. We should devise a team of experts to research on how this wastes might become of good use. if not at least to dispose them safely. Our land mass area is not expanding, and our garbage won't disappear if we ignore it. Even if our government has initiatives on reducing our garbage, it really relies on all of us to help solve this problem. It's not that hard to segregate our waste.If we can't help the environment, let's at least decrease the harm that we cause on it.

to be continued...

2004-09-28T17:45:00.000+08:00

Most of the time, I don't finish my work. I just wonder what's wrong with me. Maybe my inspiration loosens when i arrive to the end part of my works. Maybe I always wanted a very remarkable ending so that my readers would not forget my work. maybe I just don't know how to end my work, how to say enough is enough and finish your story already. Maybe it's a curse given to me by an enkanto that i must have offended when I was still a young playful boy. maybe, all i really need is time, and time is all i really needed. Hey, maybe I'm onto something. Maybe, It's not really a curse but rather a gift. Maybe that's my style of work that I should harness. I remember one TV series telling of a story of a comic book writer and his first issue, he forgot to give the last page of his book to the publisher. The book was published without the conclusion. He told himself that it would be the end of his career. when the second volume was printed and was sold to the public, he was amazed at what happened. He sold even more comic books than the first one. The readers must have thaught that the 1st book will be continued on the next issue.I think that many great stories have a missing ending. they tend to let the readers wonder on how the story would end. maybe I could incorporate my hidden gift to my works (actually, it's already been incorporated. I should just make it look better for it to look like that it's intentional)...

Master of Ahlzaris (Chapter 1: Last Letter of Master Buros)

2004-09-27T19:54:00.000+08:00

My dearest apprentice (Tyro Dual),

If you are reading this letter, this means that my mission has failed. It also means that I'm already dead. I need you to continue my mission. I must remind you to act quickly as for the lunar alignment is coming near. You will need to find my journal to be able to proceed with the mission. Included in the envelope, you will find a map where my journal can be located. The map has encrypted instructions on how to use the map and how to enter the cavern where my journal is hidden. Use the gift that I have given you before I left to decrypt the message. I apologize that I was not able to teach you on how to use the gift but I know that with your exceptional skill and with the rigorous training you acquired from me, you will be able to learn to use it. Upon obtaining my journal, use it to educate yourself about the Order of the White Robe. You must stop them before the next lunar alignment comes. I will not say more information as to protect the mission if this letter would be intercepted. The journal will explain most of what I know about them. You need to find them and hinder them from completing the ritual. Also included in the journal, you will also acquire all the wisdom and teachings that I inherited and develop but was not able to teach you. I express regret that I cannot instruct this lessons myself and you must learn it on your own. I sense that you will cross path with Tyro Karyll, If you indeed encounter her, tell her to send the message to Master Gori of my tragic misfortune. As of now, he would have sensed my demise and is already waiting for you. Seek his counsel to help you on your mission.

The Odds are against us so be very careful. Be reminded that you must act immediately. I see darker clouds in your path as the time pass by. Time is of the essence.

Your Departed Mentor
Master Buros

Memoirs of a Condemned Man

2004-09-27T19:53:00.000+08:00

Memoirs of a Condemned Man

3:00 pm

I can’t believe it. I only have an hour to live. Oh God! What will I do? God, what will I do! Actually, there isn’t really anything much that you could do, but to watch the clock and wait for the time to arrive. Time really flies when you’re thinking too much. Just a few minutes ago, I swear that the clock’s small hand is only pointing at 2. I really feel like vomiting. God, why did you let this happen to me. Do I really deserve to die? I don’t want my life to end like this. All the pain… all the embarrassment… I wish that I’m already dead. I’m too young to die. All the things that I still want to do, all the things that I have to do. Oh God, I still want to see my children grow up. I want to see how my grandchildren would look like. Would my kids be embarrassed to be associated to me? Would my kids tell stories to their kids about me? I wish I had been a better example for them. I don’t want them to grow up like me. I wish I had spent some more time with them. Oh God, how I wish I could embrace them one last time. ..

Wat am Ay libing por?

2004-09-02T11:52:00.000+08:00

By: Duke Xander

“What am I living for… if not for U-uuhhh?”

This is a very very lame song that would make anyone who hears it run (or fly if possible) for his or her life or else, suffer the consequence of hearing it over and over again in their head. But this song really struck my head into thinking deep. Questions were finally generated from this little brain of mine. What am I really living for? Is there a mission for me to accomplish in this very wonderful world? Why are we living? Why has mankind evolved to existence? Is there a mission for mankind to accomplish in this world? Wouldn’t be this world become more beautiful without mankind in it?
If there is really a mission for mankind in this world, I think that it would be to become the savior and the protector of the world and its inhabitants. But why is there a funny and horrible feeling surging through my body that mankind is really doing the opposite of what he should really be doing? Mankind is actually the one (out of many millions of species) who is hastening the destruction of the world. The earth is doing just fine before man existed. Plants are blooming, animals are growing and evolving, (and eating each other’s ass off. Yehey, what fun!!) and basically balancing each other as we know it. Man, right after he arrived, defaced the world and destroyed the balance of nature. Many species, once reproducing in great number, now lies beneath the mercy of man and scared of being taken away from the endangered list (and being added to the extinct list). Truly mankind has performed its mission of being the villain in the evolution of the world.
Let me get back to my previous questions, what am I living for? Is my mission in this world be to be able to write this very editorial to open the eyes of my reader’s? would it really affect the world if I had not been born? Would this editorial really change the world as we know it? I honestly can’t really answer these questions. Only time will tell.

TulangKwenta

2004-09-02T11:49:00.000+08:00

By: Duke Xander

Sa pagbabasa ng mambabasa
Nitong natatanging tula
Kaluluwa’y hinahanda
Sa mensaheng dala-dala

Bawat segundong dumadaan
Sa iyong orasan
Binubulong ng isipan
Ang sandali ay nasasayang

“Sana’y iba ang ginagawa
Sana ang isip ay gumagala
Sana’y ‘di na nakita
Itong walang kwentang tula”

Bakit pa nga ba
Ito ay nailathala
Nawawaldas, nawawala,
Nasasayang, papel at tinta

Baka ang manunulat
Namumutla ang balat
Ang saklap at alat
Pilit pinadarama sa lahat

O kaya’y nais pagtakpan
Natatagong kalungkutan
Sa kawalang hanggan
Ng pagkawalang katuturan

Bawat isang letra,
Bawat isang tugma
Sa tenga ay masaya
Ngunit kalaliman ay wala

Naririnig sa konsensya
Ang nakakabinging tawa
Ng nababaliw na makata
Na walang magawa

Nasasayang ang minuto
Habang binabasa ang tulang ito
Dahil sa iyong pagkatao
Ay walang nagbago

Sana’y nasayang ko
Ang iyong minuto

Ginintuang Kulungan

2004-09-02T11:46:00.000+08:00

By Duke Xander

Ako si Pipito
papito-pito
balahibo ay malago,
makulay, magaro

mga ibo’y naiinggit
lahat ay aking kamit
walang nalalamang sakit
kumpleto sa gamit

masasarap na pagkain
tulugang kahimbing-himbing
malinis na inumin
masagana sa vitamin

ngunit ako’y may dinarama
ang kanta ko’y di masaya
kung alam lang nila
gabi-gabi akong lumuluha

nananalangin sa aking pugad
na ang aking hiling ay matupad
ang kaisa-isa kong hangad
ay ang maranasang lumipad

Tuklaw

2004-08-03T21:57:00.000+08:00

By Duke Xander

Kayo'y magdahandahan
magingat sa pagdaan
sa aking harapan
at baka inyong pagsisihan

aking hawak-hawak
alagang maselan
laway nya'y makamandag
'Tuklaw' ang kanyang ngalan

sukat nya'y o kay haba,
malaman at mataba,
madulas sa panghawak
lalo na't kapag basa

kapag sya'y iyong ginalit
wala ni isang makakapigil
siya'y walang pagod na manunuklaw
hanggang lakas mo'y makitil...

(to be completed)

Scientific Dark Age

2004-08-03T21:39:00.000+08:00

By Duke Xander

Just wondering, how did the historians named the epochs of human history? How did they come up with the names Victorian, Helenistic, Dark Ages, Renaissance, etc..? Did the populace of each era knew that their era would be named like that? I believe that, like us, they would name their era as the "modern times". The time where art is at the most flourishing stage. The time where the crafts of war is in it's most devastating stages. The time where liberated ideas fill the minds of the people. Where science and technology is at its fullest potential.
If you will ask someone living today (2004) to describe his time to another person living in the past, I would imagine someone proudly saying something like this; 'My time is the greatest era that could ever be. My time would be envied by all other people not living in my time. My time invented the autimobiles, planes, television, computers, and other household appliances. This is the time where man walked on the moon, where the depths of the sea has been explored, where communication from different sides of the world could be done in just a touch of a finger, where education and research is at its fullest capacity. And most of all, my time is where science and technology is at its fastest and fullest potential.'

But imagine, what would the historians of the future (around 500 years from now) would name our era, the era where man conquered the air, water, outer space, or even the speed of sound? If I would be one of those historians, I would name this era, the scientific dark age. Imagine, what the earth would become around 500 years from now, the time where humanity harnesses the power of the sun, the rotation of the earth, the magnetism of earth, even the power of the cycles of weather, underwater currents and thermal power of earth, released slowly from man made geysers, and volcanoes. This is the era where the garbage and pollution of our era is already been cleansed. This is the era of scientific rebirth, the scientific new begining, the era of second rebirth. all of the new invention would prioritize its safety against negative effects that it would give to humanity, other living things, and nature. Its practicality and purpose would only be of second priority.
Looking back to our time, the era of scientific dark age, sure, our era had gained tremendous acceleration in terms of scientific and technological breakthrough, yet the leveling up of our technology has also accelerated the destruction of nature and humanity. The ratio of the loss of our forest land mass has immensely increased compared to to the land mass of our forest 200 years ago. The ratio of getting cancer today (about 1 out of 3) as compared to 3 decades ago (about 1 to 1000) shows how our products has degraded in terms of safety... (to be completed)